Monday, February 23, 2009

Mis familias en CubA

Yes, I have family in Cub@.
Roberto y Osmary, with their sons Dayan y Daniel.

I don't get to hear form them as often as I used to. But they are still mi familia.
Mi nueva familia en (my new family in) Cub@ es Liliana y Iraides, and their sons Iraidito y Alain Josue.

I get very emotional when I talk about my families in Cub@. They mean so much to me, even though I have not met them in person yet. There are no words to describe how strong our connection is even though we only talk through email and occasionally through a precious handwritten letter. We exchange pictures every so often, and I have sent a video to Roberto y Osmary once, and I received one back. I love watching that video. Their words are so kind, and filled with love.

This summer, I get to go to Cub@. I get to meet mis familias. But this has brought on so much anxiety, so much fear. I have no idea how to speak Spanish. I took 4 years of Spanish in High school. But one of those years doesn't really count since I failed, yes I failed Spanish 2 my sophmore year, and I had to retake it my junior year along with Spanish 3. Do I remember any of this beautiful language? Nope.. the only things I remember are simple colors, numbers, some foods, etc. Not to mention in the classes that I passed, I recieved a C- in Spanish 1, C+ in Spanish 2 (the 2nd time I had to take it), and then a D in Spanish 3. So this worries me. The words, I can so the words but when you through in irregular verbs, regular verbs, definite and indefinite articles etc... boy forget it. I know that we will have plenty of interpreter's and I will have my church family with me as well but I get overwhelemed with the thought of somehow I will not understand anything that anyone is saying. It has already happened to me here while meeting other people from different counteries at a friends house. It is a scary thing. So hopefully with the help of my therapist, and even more so God I can get through this.

Friday, February 20, 2009

As of lately..

Things have been different around here. I have been going through therapy, so has Kyle. It has been good don't get me wrong. But I feel so frazzled sometimes. I can snap at the drop of a hat at the silliest things. But my doctor says he has the right coarse of treatment for me. My anxiety has been kicking me in my tail. But he said with great confidence that was the easiest thing to take care of. I have been having more and more attacks in the past few weeks than I ever have before. But Kyle knows that he married the crazy housewife and he is still in love with me despite it all.

I need to learn that I am not Supermom. No matter how hard I try. I have 2 special needs kids that happen to be twins that are only 16 months old. I also have a 9 year old who is brilliant and wise beyond his years. I have a loving husband who works full time and goes to school full time. I can only be one person at a time, and I can only take it one minute at a time. I am slowly learning that.

But as of lately... I have learned that there is so much in His word that can help me. SO every morning I pray, as soon as I open my eyes. I pray all day long. I pray right before I go to bed. I pray sometimes even when I don't know why I am praying. Mostly I just talk to God. But it is good for my soul. It keeps me close to Him.