Sunday, September 19, 2010

Feeling a little off... Trying to look up

You know. I have been trying to be optimistic... It is pretty hard with everything that has been going on since we left here and went to Florida, and then came back within 2 1/2 months (Yes I know I have not completely filled everyone in on that one... sorry). Life is so different. The kind of different I don't like. Things have changed too much, my marriage, my children, my friends, my church. That is the biggest for me. But how do I tell the man who has been given a calling that I am not getting my Sunday dose of JC the past 3 1/2 months since I have been back? I feel so distant from everyone at church, and I know it has a lot to do with my lack of participation. I feel distant from everyone to be perfectly honest. I feel as if I still live in Florida, but I get to see everyone, but I feel they don't see me. Maybe I am being a little childish, but I just feel so out of place now. Almost like an outsider.

I am starting work in a week. I so need to get out of this house! I need to feel like an adult again. I need to feel like I am contributing to the household. But I also want to make sure that I am keeping my work life as work life, and my home life as home life. I start school again in November... I need to do this for me.

Another thing I am doing for me, is I started doing the P90 workout and diet. It is pretty extensive, and I am looking forward to seeing results. The worst part of it all, was after I took the before pictures, I had to look at them.... WHOA! I am really looking forward to my 90 day pictures... heck even the 30 day ones. But, I need to work on my inside to reflect the outside... I am such a work in progress...