Tuesday, March 10, 2009

No More Wasted Days

Today has been one of those off days. You know what I mean? One where you want to lay in bed, but it is just too pretty to waste the day? It is one of those days that you should just go riding around in your car (or if your like me your mini van), and jam out to your favorite music while the kiddos "sing" along in the back seat and giggle while the wind blows all around the car. One of my favorite songs to really turn up loud and sing my heart out to right now is by Francesca Battistelli, it is called Free to Be Me. This song fits me to a T. Goodness. There are days I can sing this song and sing it loud and proud, and there are days like today where when i sing it, all I want to do is cry.

At twenty years of age I'm still looking for a dream
A war's already waged for my destiny
But You've already won the battle
And You've got great plans for me
Though I can’t always see

‘Cause I got a couple dents in my fender
Got a couple rips in my jeans
Try to fit the pieces together
But perfection is my enemy
On my own I'm so clumsy
But on Your shoulders I can see
I'm free to be me

When I was just a girl I thought I had it figured out
My life would turn out right, and I'd make it here somehow
But things don't always come that easy
And sometimes I would doubt


And you’re free to be you

Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring
But You look at my heart and You tell me
That I've got all You seek
And it’s easy to believe
Even though


I am the furthest thing from perfection, but God who is perfect seeks me. Me?

He has plans for me, and honestly right now even if those plans that He has made for me were staring me right in my face, I am not sure if I would see them. Those plans are going to be the most amazing plans, and they are going to knock my socks off! But, am I ready? Am I prepared for these plans? He will know when I am ready for them, but what if it is too late on my end?

I am still just a girl, just like the song says. Yes I have 3 God sent children, a loving husband, wonderful friends, but I am still just a kid. "Sometimes I believe that I can do anything
Yet other times I think I've got nothing good to bring", I am still trying to be Supermom. Yes, I am still battling with it and right now... and that demon is winning.

My jeans are ripped, and my fender has tons of dents. I keep driving off the path that He has laid down for me even though it is just a detour, because my windows are rolled down and my music is blaring and I am still trying to be the 20 year old that I never got to be. But I know that no matter how clumsy I am, and how dented my fender is He wants me to get right back on that path while riding on His shoulders. God will jam out with me, sing praises with me, and remind me that my husband can do the mechanic work to knock the dents back into place.

But the more I sit and mull about it, the more I remember He likes me the way I am. Ripped jeans, tattoos, horrible singing voice and all. When I come to Him during praise and worship with my horrible singing voice and I lift my hands to Him, I am humbled. I am giving my all to Him at that moment. But it should not stop there. It shouldn't stop just because I am having a bad day, or I am feeling sick. It should be more prevalent when I am having a bad day and I am feeling sick.

A couple of years ago when we started the prayer room at Grace, I wrote on the wall "No More Wasted Days", yet I am wasting all of my days not serving Him the way I should. We all are wasting our days if we are not serving Him to our fullest. So here is to a new beginning.


erin richardson said...

here's to celebration, kiddo :-)