Response from my mother

February 6, 2002

I love you too, but now I have to go.
I will miss you so much; I just had to let you know.
Please be strong for me and have the courage to move on.
And whenever you see a sun rise, every time you see a dawn,
Think of me and the love I had for you,
Because those feelings I had for you will always and forever be true.
I know I'm moving on to bigger and better things,
but it kills me inside to leave you, to know the pain it brings.
I'm sorry to say that it is out of your control,
and there is nothing you can do for me but pray for my loving soul.
So when tomorrow begins without me and a new day arises,
I won't be there to comfort you or give you any more surprises.
I won't be there to call you right when nine o' clock hits.
And when we hang up, I won't be able to hear you throw your fits.
I won't be there to make you cry or make you yell and laugh,
but in heart I will always be there with you, for an eternity and a half.
I will never hear you whine when from each other we must depart.
I won't ever hear you kick and scream or give me a sad remark.
You won't hear me say the one thing that is just right,
so please just let me know that you'll be able to make it through the night.
Promise me that you won't do anything you may regret,
and please keep me close to your heart, always remember me and never forget.
This pain that rests in my heart is too great for me to hold.
I'm sorry I have to leave you here lonely, sad, and cold.
The fact that I am leaving you is not at all by choice,
and I ask that you please never ever forget my voice.
So all of the love that you gave to me, I won't be there to give again.
Even though you are my daughter, you were always my best friend.
In the back of your mind always rests the fact that I am gone,
but in the front should be that fact that nothing can break our bond.
Almost all the time I will see you lonely, with a tear,
because as we say goodbye right now, we are facing our greatest fear.
But from time to time when I look down on you, you will show a lovely smile.
If only I could be there with you once again, if only for awhile.
I still have so much more I want to do, and so much more to say,
but this is the last time I will see you, and together, this is our last day.
I know I have to leave you without a single trace,
which is why I can't control these tears that are falling from my face.
There is no easy way to end this, so over and over I cry.
And the one word that must pass my lips right now is the one word known as goodbye...

Make sure you are where you want to be with everyone you care about because you never know when they'll be gone...hope something good comes out of this...