I just needed to vent....

I am tired of family/friends/strangers etc... telling me to just get over the fact our boys were premature.

Ummm - at what age of their growth did I stop being a preemie mom? Who waved the magic wand and took away all the fears of my children dying before I could see them, and once born the terror of falling in love in case they died -- being able to only touch a hand, denied the right to even change a diaper! Bathing in a cup, pumping until I thought Daisy the Cow had nothing on me -- learning medical skills, terms and mind mazes that would boggle the mind of a second year medical student, passing through the locked doors of NICU like a visitor to a prison.

At what age did those experiences NOT happen?

Yes, the babies are older now -- but what about this first year? The endless appointments, OT, PT, ST -- jumble the alphabet, you'll come up with a medical appointment...

And then what about the following years -- every little milestone passed causes a release of long held breath that this was one more 'normal' (there's that horrible word again!) baby thing

Our twins were born early -- that makes me a preemie mom -- and just because our babies are older doesn't change their birthdate -- time will sooth the terror, lack of sleep will blur the details --

I wear this title with honor -- because us moms know it represents a battle of epic proportions waged not only with medical personal, annoying nurses, insensitive (stupid) family members and 'friends' with both feet in their mouths -- it represents all the internal struggles we went through, and fought and perhaps are still fighting --

I wear this title with honor - because when someone says 'they're older now, get over it' or 'just be thankful they're here' I can smile inside and know with certainty that I know better than most others what it's like to face sickness, and death and pass through the valley and come out the other side --

I wear this title with honor - because that's our birth story and there is no reason to apologize for an experience that no sane person would willingly choose, even for their worst enemy.

I wear this title with honor - because I know when I hear about babies being born early my heart aches and I cry for those parents and I am capable of a compassion that very few others even know is necessary.

And face it -- they'll always be our babies -- and when they're 56 they'll probably still be asking for allowance and to borrow the brand new car.