roses and smoke

So I sit here smelling dead roses and cigarette smoke, let me explain. I had randomly went to my Uncle Fred's house after church today, and as i was turning down Hopkins Avenue I saw a huge white truck in his driveway. There were Billy, Charlie, and my Dad (step dad Jim) starting to unload my mommy's stuff. I turned the corner to park on Allison and walk over. I saw Rose on the porch and said did I come at a bad time and she said "Nope.". So I started to walk over and I hear "Kathy" It was my Dad. He said "This is everything but her wedding dress I forgot her wedding dress. But I will drop it back off." I burst into tears, how couldn't I? These are things I have not seen in the better part of 7 years. Nic nacs, photo's oodles and oodles of photo's! I have no idea where to start, I just keep looking at it all, and I burst into tears. It might take me a few days to start going through it. The cedar chest my bio father made for her for their wedding was amongst one of the biggest things. It is plum full of pictures as well. Boxes of her Indian plates and nic nacs, my color guard flags still on the poles, they are tattered and torn but still my memories. There is a bag full of Adam's baby clothes and blankets that were over at her house. Memories.... so many memories. Here is the kicker.... He had her cedar chest and the rocker that she had bought when we told her I was pregnant with Adam so she could rock him in when he came but he had already unloaded the boxes into my car... so instead of leaving the stuff at Fred's he said he would just follow me and bring all the big stuff to my house. TO MY HOUSE, where my family lives. They followed me here, I called Kyle on the way in tears ( I am not sure how I drove home as blurry as I vision was) and told him to get dressed that my Dad was coming over to drop off my mommy's stuff. Kyle calmly said "Ok Baby I will see you in a few minutes.". A few minutes later we pull up and Kyle walks down and shakes everyone's hands and introduces himself. He shook my dad's hand, and I am not sure if it will be the last time or not. But I do know I have my memories, I have my memories back.

This is the chest my bio father made for my mom for her wedding gift. It is plum full of pictures of my past and my children's only way of knowing my mother.